


Draco's Eggplant is Driving Harry Mad

by Easy4Weasley



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Auror Partners, Draco has a stress toy, Eggplant stress toy, Harry has a boner, M/M, Sexual Tension
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-11
Updated: 2020-05-11
Packaged: 2021-03-03 04:55:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 920
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24129298
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Easy4Weasley/pseuds/Easy4Weasley
Summary: Draco has an eggplant stress toy and it's driving Harry mad.https://www.amazon.com/dp/B01AX1TFIS/?coliid=I1MI8LY2PNYCEB&colid=RZMZO2LKU3GT&psc=1I found this hilarious eggplant stress toy online and it inspired this silly Drarry headcanon (because, honestly, what doesn't inspire Drarry headcanons am I right?).K- Thanks for laughing at my headcanon with me and always inspiring me to write even when my confidence is lacking. You're a wonderful friend. I'm so thankful for you (and our lovely dragon girl who helped get us taking).Now, dragon girl, I dare you to write Draco's perspective 😇 Love youuuu.
Relationships: Draco Malfoy/Harry Potter
Comments: 23
Kudos: 190





	Draco's Eggplant is Driving Harry Mad

**Author's Note:**

  * For [KingKay](https://archiveofourown.org/users/KingKay/gifts), [DragonGirl87](https://archiveofourown.org/users/DragonGirl87/gifts).



Draco Malfoy was trying to kill him. Harry was sure of it.

Draco and Harry had been Auror partners for nearly three years. They’d come to a shaky sort-of truce after the war and eventually forged a friendship during Auror Training. They’d spent endless hours together learning, studying and dueling and _finally_ they’d graduated and been assigned as partners. 

Harry never imagined that he could work so well with his former nemesis. But, somehow, they just fit. Draco now knew him better than anyone and he wouldn’t trade their partnership for anything in the world, except maybe a relationship with said partner. Or a shag. A blowjob perhaps! Merlin, Harry would even settle for those long, pale fingers to wrap around his cock exactly like they were currently wrapped around that stupid stress toy. 

That stupid stress toy that had been driving Harry mad for months now and basically keeping him in a current state of sexual frustration as his mind filled wth images of Draco playing with his dick instead of that stupid eggplant. Who the hell has an eggplant stress toy anyway? It’s _obscene_!

So, yes, Draco Malfoy and his bloody eggplant stress toy were trying to kill him.

Harry could see the headline now.

BOY WHO LIVES DIES OF BLUE BALLS

His autopsy would show _both_ of his wrists having significant trauma from overuse and extreme cock chafing. At least he would already be dead so he wouldn’t have to die of mortification.

It was getting so bad that Harry was starting to long for the simple, boring cases they struggled through in that first year as full-fledged Aurors. Those cases didn’t inspire deep thought or planning. Those cases didn’t have Draco propping his long legs on his desk, long neck bared as he rested his head on the back of his chair, eyes closed and lips pursed in thought. But, most importantly, those cases didn’t require Draco to caress and squeeze that _fucking_ eggplant stress toy until inspiration struck.

Perhaps it wouldn’t be so bad if Draco didn’t have the most amazing hands and the most kissable mouth and, _sweet Merlin_ , legs for fucking days. And, honestly, if he was going to be that fucking attractive shouldn’t he atleast be a prat like he was in school? But no, he had to go and grow up and become the man of Harry’s fucking dreams.

Harry had to put an end to this. His poor cock couldn’t take much more.

“Enough already!” Harry shouted into their quiet office, startling Draco so badly that he nearly fell out of his desk chair.

“Merlin, Potter. What’s got your wand in a knot?” Draco said, huffling as he righted himself in his seat and straightened his waistcoat. 

“You!” Harry yelled.

“ _Me!?”_ Draco asked, clearly affronted.

“Can you just stop? Stop...stop _fondling_ ...that fucking... _toy_.”

“What _are_ you on about? My toy? You mean my aubergine?”

Harry huffed in frustration. “Your fucking aubergine? You have got to be kidding me! You know what, forget it, i’m going for some tea.”

Harry stood and started towards their office door, leaving a frustrated and confused Draco to gape at his retreating back.

“I’ll have you know that Mother says I’ve always loved aubergines! Even as a boy!”

Harry snorted, muttering under his breath, “I’m sure Lucius loved that. Took me a bit longer to discover my love of eggplants.” 

Harry’s hand was barely on the doorknob when Draco shouted.

“Potter! Don’t you dare leave this office! Why the _fuck_ are we fighting over fucking aubergines!?”

Harry turned around. Tangling his hands in his hair in frustration Harry shouted, “You’re drivng me fucking mental Draco! Do you have any idea what you're doing to me? Or what you stroking that fucking eggplant is doing to my sanity? Do you even know what the eggplant symbolizes?!”

Draco’s cheeks were flushed pink and his mouth formed a perfect “O” shape as he stuttered, “I...well... Pansy did mention it’s meaning when she gave it to me, yes. I had just come out, you see, and she thought it would be funny I suppose. But… why...I… why would my phallic stress toy put you on edge? I thought you fancied blokes as well. I thought you might even find it funny, too. Or at least not mind it. I know homosexuality makes some wizards uncomfortable, but I never imagined you’d be one of them.”

“Are you _kidding_ me? Homosexuality doesn’t make me uncomfortable! For the love of Merlin! And I don’t ‘fancy _blokes’_ Draco! I fancy _you._ And seeing your fucking perfect fingers wrapped around that damn eggplant is driving me fucking mental! I can’t focus when I’m constantly rock hard and wanting you to wrap your fingers around _me!”_

Draco’s eyes were comically wide. “Oh,” he breathed.

“Yes, ‘oh’!” The embarrassment of the situation was catching up to Harry as he began to calm down. His cheeks were bright red as he shuffled back towards the door to escape to the tea room. He reached his hand towards the doorknob when, with a rush of Draco’s magic and an audible _click,_ the door was locked.

Harry turned around slowly, fully prepared for Draco to laugh in his face.

  
Their eyes met and Draco, sexy smirk on his lips, vanished his eggplant stress toy with a little _pop_ from his wand.

“Oops,” he said, his voice low and husky. “It would appear I need something else to… what was it? Wrap my _perfect fingers_ around.”

**Author's Note:**

> 🍆 
> 
> that is all.


End file.
